Sour Oranges…

Posted on May 23, 2012 - Filed Under Accidents, Hookers, Sex | Leave a Comment

This is possibly one of the most sour orange juice drinks ever. I’ve just drank 19 of them in a row. My fiery kitty piss is going to be able to melt a hookers face later…mew….

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Because All The Bitches Love It…

Posted on May 19, 2012 - Filed Under Sex | Leave a Comment

If this doesn’t serve to attract sexy ladies of the night, then I don’t know what will! Either that, or I’ll use it to distract fatties…mew…

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Nothing but mammals…

Posted on May 18, 2012 - Filed Under Bed Intruder, Sex | Leave a Comment

You and me baby ain’t nothing but mammals… But I do still like to moisturise…

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Lies told by Steel Panther Part 1…

Posted on May 14, 2012 - Filed Under Accidents, Bed Intruder, Sex | Leave a Comment

I’ve been listening to Steel Panther a lot, and trying out some of the advice given in their songs.  Turns out it’s all lies!!  Here is what happened to me: Telling a stripper that she’s ugly – from the song “Critter” This one was pretty easy to do, I went straight down to Hooters.  Turns […]

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The Phantom Tea-bagger

Posted on May 4, 2012 - Filed Under Bed Intruder, Revenge, Sex | Leave a Comment

Minions, be warned… If you cross me, you can expect a night time visit. I shall sneak into your house (hopefully through the catflap), enter your bedroom, and whilst you sleep, I’ll teabag you. I know what you’re thinking. How am I going to fit my giant kitty balls into your mouth without chocking you […]

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Coffee and my penis…

Posted on April 24, 2012 - Filed Under Sex | Leave a Comment

Velvety texture and rich with semen…

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I thought I found my soulmate…

Posted on April 23, 2012 - Filed Under Accidents, Sex | Leave a Comment

So, last night I remember seeing a sexual and voluptuous being, about my size and wearing a flowery dress that really got me going… Unfortunately I was off my face on KFC chicken bones that I crushed into a powder and snorted, and I woke up next to this: I’ve stolen “her” to use as […]

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Mumsy…

Posted on April 20, 2012 - Filed Under Crystal Maze, Sex | Leave a Comment

I fucked Mumsy… Richard was pretty pissed. I just slapped him in the face with my cock, it was still covered in Mumsy’s Jizz.  It was Oedipal…

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Fish Supper…

Posted on April 19, 2012 - Filed Under Sex | Leave a Comment

Yum!!!

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Margaret Thatcher Wet Dreams…

Posted on April 19, 2012 - Filed Under Margaret Thatcher, Sex | Leave a Comment

Sometimes I have hideously debauched wet dreams about Margaret Thatcher :s  Its the memory of what I like to call “Thatch Snatch”.  I’ve never been able to get those 3 wonderful months out of my head… mew :3

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